There was this one jerk who was picking on the old ladies and orhpans, at the place where I volunteer (for dying kids). I was talking to this really hot chick, who was totally into me (she had really big boobs), while I was helping a blind little girl learn to read Braille.

The totally hot girl (who was naked) said what a travesty that this jerk was kicking puppies and shaving homeless kittens. So I stood up (all 7′ of me) walked over to the jerk, and told him, “Look, bro, you’d better stop causing world hunger, or we’ll have to fight.” After the jerk (who was the Devil) took one look into my eyes, burning with passion. He tried to run away (he looked really strong but not stronger than me), but I pulled him back and made him wear a skirt in front of everybody, including my best friends, President Obama and Isaac Newton, before I made him hurl himself into the sun.

Afterwards, I took said hot girl (really big boobs) and her 3 even hotter friends, and her mom (even bigger boobs), and they were like, “Oh, you’re so brave!” I could tell my brother (Jesus Christ) was looking down smiling upon me that day.